Gotcha!

I'm always a little sensitive this time of year.  I feel a bit... umm... delicate. It seems like Jesse has always been a part of our family, but my heart remembers when he wasn't.  Just over 3 years ago, I was full-swing in the midst of grieving...grieving for the children I thought I'd never have.  And when I think back on those dark days, I can still feel the raw edges of doubt and pain that ruled my life then.  Doubt that I would ever fulfill my purpose.  Doubt that maybe I wasn't supposed to be a Mommy...and the heartbreak that ensued.  I was exhausted, shaken to the very core of my being.  I feel silly even thinking back on those days now because everything changed, shifted when we got the call from DSS that they had a little boy for us to foster.  And ten days later Jesse walked into our living room and into our lives.  And God revealed Himself in a way I never expected.  I am overwhelmed by His goodness!

Our first "family" photo - October 20, 2008

My life will never be the same!  Jesse is one of the most amazing blessings I've ever received.  I don't know why it shocks me how perfectly he fits in our family.  Or how he and Micah look so alike.  God really did know what He was doing!  So, you see, I might feel delicate right now, but I am also eternally grateful!  Grateful for a God who sees the whole picture - both mine and Jesse's.  Grateful that I can see why I had to walk through the valley, and come out the other side a Mommy.  Grateful that He sees it fit to let Jesse call me his Mommy.  And today, we celebrate Jesse's THIRD Gotcha Day!

We love you, Jesse!  So glad we gotcha!

The story of Jesse

I love everything about Fall - visiting the pumpkin patch, the changing leaves, carving pumpkins, crispness in the air (which translates to 70+ degrees in sunny SC - HA!), pumpkin spice lattes, Halloween, pumpkin pies, fall festivals, and did I mention pumpkins?  But, the thing I love most about this time of year, is that it marks the anniversary of Jared and I first becoming parents.  And, in celebration of Jesse's 2-year anniversary of living with us, here is his story:

We tried for 3 years to conceive a child on our own.  I went through a number of medical interventions, but  nothing worked.  We were devastated, knowing that God intended us to be parents, but didn't understand why He was withholding a child from us.  We prayed ((ALOT!)), and looked into all of our options, finally settling on adopting through the foster care system.  It took us just 2 days to complete our paperwork, but over a year to get the call.  In that year, we found a sibling group of 3 that we wanted to adopt and 2 private adoptions of infants fall through.  It was the craziest roller coaster ride of emotions...but then...

On October 7th, 2008, we got a call from DSS stating that they had a little boy for us to foster.  His name was Jesse, and he was a 2 1/2 year old little boy who would more likely than not be up for adoption.  We had wait 3 excruciatingly long days to go to Charleston to learn more about him, but after reviewing his history, we decided that he would be a good fit for our family.  It's there, in that little DSS office, that we first saw pictures of our son.  (Pictures do not do him justice!)

That weekend, we visited him at his foster mom's house.  He was so tiny for his age, and was a bit wary of these weird people mooning over him.

(Oh!  That bowl haircut!  ha ha ha!!)  And then, just a few days later, on October 20th, Jesse's social worker, Laura, dropped him off at our house.  We were prepared for the worst - crying, sobbing, a lot of "you're not my mommy" moments - but Jesse just walked into our house (and our hearts) saying, "This is my Mommy.  This is my Daddy.  This is my house.  These are my dogs...."  He was right where he was supposed to be!  Here's a first family picture:

I remember those first days with Jesse being filled with awe that he fit so well into our family.  We waited so long for him, yet it seemed like he was with us forever.  God knew exactly what he was doing when he brought this little guy into our lives, and we are so thankful for him!!!

Now, 2 years later, we are anxiously anticipating finalizing our adoption on November 12th - yet another reason to celebrate Fall!  (((God is so good!!)))