I'm always a little sensitive this time of year. I feel a bit... umm... delicate. It seems like Jesse has always been a part of our family, but my heart remembers when he wasn't. Just over 3 years ago, I was full-swing in the midst of grieving...grieving for the children I thought I'd never have. And when I think back on those dark days, I can still feel the raw edges of doubt and pain that ruled my life then. Doubt that I would ever fulfill my purpose. Doubt that maybe I wasn't supposed to be a Mommy...and the heartbreak that ensued. I was exhausted, shaken to the very core of my being. I feel silly even thinking back on those days now because everything changed, shifted when we got the call from DSS that they had a little boy for us to foster. And ten days later Jesse walked into our living room and into our lives. And God revealed Himself in a way I never expected. I am overwhelmed by His goodness!
Our first "family" photo - October 20, 2008
My life will never be the same! Jesse is one of the most amazing blessings I've ever received. I don't know why it shocks me how perfectly he fits in our family. Or how he and Micah look so alike. God really did know what He was doing! So, you see, I might feel delicate right now, but I am also eternally grateful! Grateful for a God who sees the whole picture - both mine and Jesse's. Grateful that I can see why I had to walk through the valley, and come out the other side a Mommy. Grateful that He sees it fit to let Jesse call me his Mommy. And today, we celebrate Jesse's THIRD Gotcha Day!